Suddenly it's like buses...

I don't blog in weeks, then all of a sudden there are two posts in one day.

On one of my walks this week a woman was seen taking a squirrel on a lead for a walk. Or, it might have been a tiny dog. I suppose that's more likely. I have definitely seen bigger squirrels.

EXAMPLE OF TINY DOG. 

HAVE SEEN BIGGER SQUIRRELS.

A few weeks ago we had the almost annual family theatre trip into London where we saw Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead starring Daniel Radcliffe, Joshua McGuire and David Haig. Boy, that play has some words! It was very funny, thoroughly enjoyed it, could have done without the 6' 5" couple that were sat in front of me. Luckily, I saw it at the NT Live screening a couple of weeks later and got a better view! It was still very funny and I still thoroughly enjoyed it. And the 6'5" couple had not followed me to the cinema.

We've had to change the car. The old one made my right leg lose contact with the rest of my body. I can now sit in a higher seat, with all my limbs properly attached and drive along, looking down at the mere mortals in lower cars.

THIS IS NOT OUR CAR. OUR CAR IS BLACK.

Crunch the tortoise had to be rescued from a break dancing attempt. She was all waggling legs in the air whilst lying on her back for a few seconds. That's what happens when you climb up things and hurl yourself off the top. As my husband says, it's a rubbish design for an animal. I have now lowered everything in her home so she is unlikely to be able do that again.

ARTIST'S IMPRESSION OF 

CRUNCH THE TORTOISE

Having finally produced a paperback version of Modified, I am currently a third of the way through a first edit of Nate and Day (Lunar Medical book 2). I'll publish it any year now.

Gather round: I'm having a chat with Nathan Bush.

Today, I have the pleasure of welcoming Nathan Bush, author of The Foley Chronicles. Thank you so much for attending my interrogation. Welcome to the madhouse that is my blog.

Amy:  Tell us a bit about yourself, who you are, where you’re from, do you write full time and what do you do for fun? (Inside leg measurement, head circumference, shoe size-kidding!)

Nathan: Thanks for having me, Amy. Let’s see. I’ve been married to my wonderful wife, Tammy, since 2003. Together we have five children. All but one are grown and have been released out into the world! I’m a transplanted Yankee and I have been in the south for over twenty years.

I work full-time and write part-time. Which means I write when I get the time. Usually late into the night, when it’s quiet in the house.

(My inseam is 30-32; head circumference is basketballish; shoe size varies.)

Amy: 😁 excellent, I think you're one of the only people to answer those! And...FIVE? FIVE kids? I'm not sure I'd cope with five. Stopped at two-and I'm barely sane! When did you first start writing and did you enjoy it right from the start?

Nathan: I started writing in middle school and on into high school and fell in love with it immediately. I worked on the school newspaper and literary magazine, but after I graduated it kind of fell to the wayside when life took over and my kids came along.

Amy: Ah yes, responsibilities, I can relate to that, a similar thing happened to me. Out of the entire process of writing and publishing what do you enjoy the most?

Nathan: Writing is definitely the most enjoyable part for me. Creating the characters and watching them come alive, and seeing how they react to whatever situations I throw at them is like nothing else I’ve ever done.

Amy: Agree-again! As an Indie Author is there anything from writing through to promotion and publication that you wish you didn’t have to do?

Nathan: Everything after the writing! Seriously, my least favorite part is all of the editing that has to be done. And no matter how many times I go through my manuscript, I always find mistakes I missed on the previous read through. It seems never-ending.

Amy: You see, I love all that stuff, she lied! It is a daunting necessity. Tell us about where you write. Do you have a dedicated space or are you able to write anywhere?

Nathan: I had a desk in my office where I used to write, but after a recent move I no longer have that, so I usually write at the kitchen table, or in my recliner, on occasion.

I do find myself writing notes to myself anywhere or any time an idea comes up, though. And I have considered downloading the Word app from Microsoft, just in case.

Amy: I jot things down in Notes on the iPhone which has now apparently become another limb on my body! Do you have a process or any habits that must be completed before you start writing?

Nathan: There is the ritualistic offering of small animals. Just kidding! No, I just sit down and it just starts pouring out.

Amy: That gets a bit messy after a while, I got fed up with the clean up afterwards. Name a place fictional or real that you’d like to visit.

Nathan: I went to DC a few years ago with our Youth Ministry on a prayer mission. It’s a remarkable place. I would like to visit there again. If any local churches are looking for a chaperone, I’m available!

Amy: Who are your favourite authors and what are you reading at the moment?

Nathan: I’ve been a Stephen King fan most of my life. In fact, I started out writing horror stories. But now I mostly read Ted Dekker, Frank Peretti, and Randy Alcorn. I’m getting into Terri Blackstock.

Amy: Do you listen to music when you write? Who is on your current play list?

Nathan: Most times I do. I have multiple channels on Pandora, so it really depends on who I’m focusing on during that time. Anything from Christian, to Country, to Mediterranean.

Amy: What are you working on at the moment?

Nathan: I’m currently editing and rewriting book 2 of my Christian crime series, The Foley Chronicles: Files from the 8th District, as well as writing book 3, and plotting books 4, 5, and 6.

Amy: Finally, if you weren’t a writer and you could choose to do anything else with your life what would you do?

Nathan: I’ve always been fascinated by criminal psychology, especially after I read Mind Hunter, a book by John Douglas (long before Criminal Minds came along). He was one of the creators of the FBI’s Criminal Profiling Program, so I would have to say FBI Profiler.

That is a fascinating field. Thanks very much Nathan. 

Everyone else click on these links all at once and buy Nathan's book:

Facebook    Blog    Amazon

Deforestation alert: I made a paperback

I'll just leave that there along with THIS which is a link to the PAPERBACK version of my book. Oh look, there it is again. It's my blog I can put two links in if I want to.

To pull bits out of recent reviews, it's been called a "surprisingly good book", "hilarious and sexy" and has the "subtlety of Rocky Horror" all said by people I DID NOT PAY!

Look, there's the copy I bought on the sofa. It has real pages and evryfink! And they're not blank-I checked.

In other news Crunch the Tortoise came out for a wander around the living room today. She got herself stuck on a metal bar and spent a few seconds waggling her legs in mid air until we stopped laughing, took pity on her and relocated her onto a flat surface. 

And now for something completely weird.

OK this wasn't my idea. Apparently people think it's a thing to interview a character they have written. Well I'm pretty much as clueless as one of mine, so if it ticks a box I don't mind having another conversation with myself. I mean, it's not like that doesn't happen on an hourly basis anyway, so why not write this nonsense example of literary art down? Enjoy or not. Who cares, no-one's reading this anyway. (Buggered if I know, wanders off for a coffee...)

The following is a transcript of an interview between an unknown Alliance reporter and Dayton Bracknell shortly after Day’s arrival on the medical facility known as LMED-1 on the moon. The original video footage has thankfully since been lost.

Reporter: Dayton Bracknell thank you for joining us. You’re in charge of Lunar Medical 1 on Urm. Tell me, what’s the weather like up there?

Day: Huh? Um…well…as you can imagine we don’t get to go outside the medical facility much on account of the lack of atmosphere.  However I’m pleased to announce that life support is functioning at 100% throughout the facility, which is obviously an improvement on last week.

Reporter: It was just a joke; we wouldn’t want you all suffocating out there. What happened last week?

Day: I’m afraid I can’t talk about that.

Reporter: What can you tell me about the work that the medical team is undertaking.

Day: Absolutely nothing.

Reporter: There must be something you can tell us.

Day: No seriously, I don’t have a clue what they’re doing.

Reporter: You are in charge of the entire facility and yet you have no idea what the facility does?

Day: Correct. I manage logistics. Call me the Clueless Guy in Charge. I’m only here temporarily while everyone technical sorts everything…er technical out. Then I’ll be back down on the planet with you guys.

Reporter: Speaking of coming back to the planet, you were in the news a few months ago after a fire incident at a certain club, where a number of high profile Alliance leaders were videoed emerging from the building in various states of undress and curious costumes, wielding implements I cannot mention on air. Can you comment on that?

Day: …I…um…I’m just here on Urm managing requests between the scientists and the Alliance, scheduling the transports that bring the kit up and making sure project codes are worked on in order.

Reporter: You gained quite a reputation for your exploits at the club, how long have you yourself been a member?

Day: …and when the work codes are complete I make sure that the next transport is on its way from the planet with the correct gear to complete the next work order. I don’t know what’s involved in each work order, I just have lists of equipment needed and codes. I have lots of codes. And plenty of words I don’t understand. Lots of words.

Reporter: Are any of those safe words?

Day: …

Reporter: Is it true that you were one of the first members of the club to be awarded the coveted Perpetual Thrust Membership?

Day: Yeah I was, I…I mean, I can tell you that we are experimenting with sustainable food substitutes. We have made some progress in this; the last batch didn’t even make anyone ill. The… er observation deck with the recreation area isn’t complete yet, but despite this, morale is excellent on the base. Part of my job is to make sure the personnel don’t go mad…er to make sure they are happy to live and work here. I schedule social events and the occasional party during downtime, nothing extravagant.

Reporter: Are any of these parties like the ones at the club?

Day: We recently installed a substitute ice cream machine on the lower obs deck. That has proven quite popular.

Reporter: OK I can tell you don’t want to talk about the infamous Bracknell sexploits. What would you say is your biggest achievement on the base to date?

Day: I know how to change the temperature setting on the vending machines now.

Reporter: Dayton Bracknell, thank you for that insight into the lives of the personnel on Urm.

Buy more of this high art

Author Interview: gather round and meet Aislinn Kearns.

Did you miss me? It's OK to lie if you didn't. Today you will be relieved to know that you are going to hear from someone other than me. So I'll be brief and let the questions fly. Let's have a warm round of applause for author Aislinn Kearns (nope I'm still not a TV host!)

AJ: Tell us a bit about yourself, who you are, where you’re from, if you write full time, what you do for fun. (Inside leg measurement, head circumference and shoe size-kidding!)

AK: Hi! I’m Aislinn Kearns and I write a romantic suspense series with military heroes and heroines. I’m an Aussie that’s recently moved back home after two years in Qatar. I write full-time at the moment, and I’m loving every minute.

For fun, I read, and watch TV and films, and I love cooking (and, more importantly, eating!). But when you work for yourself, finding time for fun is a real challenge!

AJ: It's a challenge, but in my opinion one that can't be ignored. Did you always want to be an author? When did you first start writing?

AK: I did always want to be an author! However, it took me many years and a number of false starts before accepting that it was my true passion in life. I’ve worked many different jobs before finding my happiness pursuing this.

I first started writing when I was a very small child. I think I wrote my first story at about six years old! Thankfully, I’ve improved a bit since then.

AJ: That's about the same age as I was. I can't guarantee I've improved since then. (I am joking-honestly!) Now that you have several titles published, what lessons have you learnt about the writing process?

AK: Oh boy, what haven’t I learned? I’ve learned to be more disciplined, to outline a bit better (though this is still a learning process!), and the value of taking breaks to recharge your writing mind (but not too many!)

AJ: As an Indie Author is there anything from writing through to promotion and publication that you wish you didn’t have to do?

AK: Trying to find people to review your book can be pretty soul destroying, so I really wish I didn’t have to spend so much time at that.

AJ: Just reading that answer made me groan-so true! What’s the hardest part about writing Romantic Suspense?

AK: Balancing the evolution of the suspense plot, with the progression of the romance, with the individual characters’ development so that they all resolve at the right places in the story.

AJ: Tell us about where you write. Do you have a dedicated space or are you able to write anywhere?

AK: As long as it is calm and quiet, I can write anywhere. Soon I’ll get set up with a dedicated space, though, to train my brain to think ‘At Desk = Writing’.

AJ: I need one of them. I do "At sofa=procrastinating!" Name a place fictional or real that you’d like to visit.

AK: The Scottish Highlands is top of my list, though Iceland is up there, too.

AJ: Who are your favourite authors and what are you reading at the moment?

AK: I adore Suzanne Brockmann. At the moment I’m reading The Sapphire Affair by Lauren Blakely in audiobook. She has a great way with sexy, flirtatious banter.

AJ: Do you listen to music while you write? Who is on your current play list?
AK: Nope, I need complete silence! Occasionally I’ll listen to some fast instrumental music for a writing sprint (Mortal Kombat theme, Pirates of the Caribbean theme, etc). But silence is much better for me.

AJ: What are you working on at the moment?

AK: Book 4 in the Soldiering On series (aka Sam’s book!) and I’m developing a Christmas novella which will be my first Contemporary Romance release (without the suspense!). I also started writing a spinoff of the Soldiering On series featuring a (surprise) character from Dangerous Victor, which I’ll finish this year.

AJ: Finally, if you weren’t an author and you could choose to do anything else with your life what would you do?

AK: Be rich and lounge around all day! I’d probably still write, though. I can’t seem to stop.

AJ: I think I'd always write too. Aislinn Kearns, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me.

AK: Thanks for having me!

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Dangerous Victor 

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Pointless Post Alert

And all you people who think all my posts are pointless, I'll have you know on occasion I have the ability to make sense. I'm scheduling the next one of those for 2020. For now you'll have to put up with this:

I've got new trainers. They match my hair. Kind of-I don't have pink laces in my hair.

It has been one of those weeks (yes, I am aware it's only Wednesday) where celebrating a cheap new pair of trainers is something I'm going to have to cling to as a positive step forward. I have done so much and achieved bugger all. (Kudos to me for not saying fuck all. Oh.) I'll just leave that there in the middle of the paragraph and no-one will notice. It's not like anybody reads this bloody thing anyway!

Moving on...it's the Easter holidays. Occasionally the teenagers come downstairs in search of food. On one occasion Teen2 came into the kitchen and asked where Crunch the tortoise was. We searched the tortoise table. Error, tortoise not found where tortoise expected. We searched behind the tortoise table in case she had sprouted wings and gained the ability to fly out of the box. Nada. I picked up the food bowl. So apparently burying oneself under one's food bowl is now a thing. I know Russian tortoises dig, but can't she put up a flag or something alerting us to where she has decided to bury herself? Most inconsiderate.

And just so you know, I have a headache. 

And I'm coming back as a man.

And yes those two things are related.