The following is a transcript of an interview between an
unknown Alliance reporter and Dayton Bracknell shortly after Day’s arrival on
the medical facility known as LMED-1 on the moon. The original video footage has thankfully since been
lost.
Reporter: Dayton Bracknell thank you for joining us. You’re
in charge of Lunar Medical 1 on Urm. Tell me, what’s the weather like up there?
Day: Huh? Um…well…as you can imagine we don’t get to go
outside the medical facility much on account of the lack of atmosphere. However I’m pleased to announce that life
support is functioning at 100% throughout the facility, which is obviously an
improvement on last week.
Reporter: It was just a joke; we wouldn’t want you all
suffocating out there. What happened last week?
Day: I’m afraid I can’t talk about that.
Reporter: What can you tell me about the work that the
medical team is undertaking.
Day: Absolutely nothing.
Reporter: There must be something you can tell us.
Day: No seriously, I don’t have a clue what they’re doing.
Reporter: You are in charge of the entire facility and yet
you have no idea what the facility does?
Day: Correct. I manage logistics. Call me the Clueless Guy
in Charge. I’m only here temporarily while everyone technical sorts everything…er
technical out. Then I’ll be back down on the planet with you guys.
Reporter: Speaking of coming back to the planet, you were in
the news a few months ago after a fire incident at a certain club, where a
number of high profile Alliance leaders were videoed emerging from the building
in various states of undress and curious costumes, wielding implements I
cannot mention on air. Can you comment on that?
Day: …I…um…I’m just here on Urm managing requests between
the scientists and the Alliance, scheduling the transports that bring the kit
up and making sure project codes are worked on in order.
Reporter: You gained quite a reputation for your exploits at
the club, how long have you yourself been a member?
Day: …and when the work codes are complete I make sure that
the next transport is on its way from the planet with the correct gear to complete
the next work order. I don’t know what’s involved in each work order, I just
have lists of equipment needed and codes. I have lots of codes. And plenty of
words I don’t understand. Lots of words.
Reporter: Are any of those safe words?
Day: …
Reporter: Is it true that you were one of the first members
of the club to be awarded the coveted Perpetual Thrust Membership?
Day: Yeah I was, I…I mean, I can tell you that we are
experimenting with sustainable food substitutes. We have made some progress in
this; the last batch didn’t even make anyone ill. The… er observation deck with
the recreation area isn’t complete yet, but despite this, morale is excellent
on the base. Part of my job is to make sure the personnel don’t go mad…er to
make sure they are happy to live and work here. I schedule social events and
the occasional party during downtime, nothing extravagant.
Reporter: Are any of these parties like the ones at the
club?
Day: We recently installed a substitute ice cream machine on
the lower obs deck. That has proven quite popular.
Reporter: OK I can tell you don’t want to talk about the
infamous Bracknell sexploits. What would you say is your biggest achievement on
the base to date?
Day: I know how to change the temperature setting on the vending
machines now.
Reporter: Dayton Bracknell, thank you for that insight into
the lives of the personnel on Urm.
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