Thursday, 26 January 2017

Where did they go?

I have ventured out twice today. Newsflash-it's cold outside. There was a delay in getting back as I searched the pavement for my lips which I was sure had frozen off my face. I am also quite convinced that there is now a gaping chasm where my nose used to live. Maybe that's a good thing. I wouldn't feel the need to blow it every five minutes. My nose. Blow my nose. Honestly some people!

So having possibly lost facial features to the season, the other thing that's gone missing is named containers that my son used this week to take ingredients into school. He's got the end result of the cooking class that he forgot to bring home yesterday, but not the really handy sized pots that I use for the minuscule amounts of ingredients necessary to make 6-12 coconut pyramids! Where do these things go? How many kids are there at the school with the exact same name as my son?

I might post a picture of his creation when he gets home. It'll be one of those things that really makes a blog post stand out, vaguely relevant picture of food. I'm sure it'll hold everyone's attention.

I'd say that the only other thing I'm in danger of losing today is the plot, however I think I lost touch with that years ago. Now if you'll excuse me my day job beckons, I have boxes of stock to unpack ready for the next week of business.

Edited to add vaguely relevant picture of food in front of truncated excerpt of my second book.

Wednesday, 25 January 2017

FFF...Cold...

My husband is working from home today wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I'm sitting here shivering in two jumpers and contemplating a third pair of socks and a coat. Maybe a hat...I've just upped the temperature on the central heating. Looking forward to him changing into swimming trunks later as a result!

I am currently refusing to leave the house on foot until the pavements have ceased morphing into ice rinks because I'm quite keen on avoiding a gushing head wound and possibly a dislocated hip. Even my usually wonderful walking boots didn't help last night on the way to the osteopath where I was lucky to arrive without adding any more injuries to the ones I already have. It was a close run thing-I must have slipped about 4 times. Why doesn't anyone else have this problem?

We've got a few different things going on this year. One of them is visiting university open days for our daughter who I swear was only 6 years old about a year ago. I'm looking forward to the days out. Even if I'm not looking forward to the ones that cannot supply adequate parking and who are insisting that three guests is one too many. Sorry (not sorry) we won't be leaving our son at home on his own. And I'm good, but even I can't resurrect my parents to stay with him.

Another thing I started this week was an online course in Psychology and Mental Health. It's very interesting. I won't have any form of qualification at the end of it and I should hope not-it's only a couple of hours a week for 6 weeks. Can you imagine being qualified to deal with someone's mental health after that short a time! It was however a course that I could do at the same time as my daughter who has been encouraged to complete a course alongside her A Level studies. Because clearly there just isn't enough work involved in studying four A Levels.

Cossie the fire breathing bearded dragon has come out of hibernation. I have asked her to rearrange the furniture in her home so I can climb inside with her and sit under her heat lamp for a while. For some reason she just looked at me...

Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Greetings from Planet Mucus

Don't get too close, apparently it's annual head cold week. Or as I have asked on previous platforms-how many packets of tissues do you think this cold will last for? I'm currently up to about 50 tissues. I am so far resisting the urge to just use a towel, the furniture, carpet, my clothes, a random passing human.

Yes I've read the thing about how Vicks Vapour Rub on the soles of your feet can stop a cough. No I'm not convinced that works. I know exactly when the next dose of decongestant is due as my Barry White impression surpasses the man himself. I have the thin upper lip of an ancient woman with a thin upper lip-you know the type.

I am thrilled to be able to report that the right side of my face no longer feels the size of a watermelon and my ears have stopped buzzing.

I bet you're glad it's not one of these gastric flu things, aren't you? Imagine the details I could give you about that.

Friday, 13 January 2017

That other sense of achievement...

...when it's been snowing outside, there's no evidence of grit and even if there was, as a pedestrian it's pointless because they don't grit pavements. Yet you manage to keep an appointment outside of the house despite having a lifelong fear of falling over on icy footpaths. Yeah, did that. Took a bit of time to get over, my hands have stopped shaking. I am back inside now having had my hair cut and coloured violet. Pats self on back.

Below freezing this morning. Icy pavements. Two kids. Younger one with almost a 2 mile walk, left first thing wearing boots with spikes in the heel for grip, uniform, coat, gloves and hat. Older one with over a mile to walk goes out in fashions boots, trousers, shirt and suit jacket. Oh and a pair of gloves, lets not forget to mention the gloves. It makes all the difference. Still, it's over 5C out there now. Practically summer. And no, there will not be any snow left on the grass by the time they get home. Should have made the most of it last night rather than trying to "save it for tomorrow when the schools are closed."

This week I seem to be maintaining the feeling that my bone marrow has turned to ice and that all of my clothes have been stored in the chest freezer for the fortnight prior to wearing. I put more layers on only to have to take them off in half an hour because I'm sweating. Then within minutes I feel like my abdomen has been filled with iced water again. I take all my clothes off and get into bed and sweat my way through the night. This is not what I signed up for in the factory when I decided I'd try the human female option. I would like a refund or the option to come back as a man.






Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Midweek Special

That's a blatant lie, there is literally nothing special about this post.

I had some free time on my hands yesterday and spent it writing Modified Book 2. Well, I actually wrote the short story that is the basis of book 2 before I even thought about writing book 1, because, you know, I'm weird, it's the sort of thing I do. So I wrote the build up to a point in the book yesterday and then cut and pasted the next scene from the original short story into book 2 and gained an instant extra 2000 words. Very pleased with that-my kind of effort! I also formatted book 1 with a view to doing a print on demand paperback version. However the author only gets a tiny percentage of the cover price of the book-so maybe not. I can't decide.

I haven't checked all news outlets but I've been led to believe that I'm at risk of being snowed on this week. I remain unconvinced, I believe you need clouds for that kind of thing and it's blue sky out there. I am however quite sure that it's probably warmer outside than I feel in the damn house.

This picture is pretty much how I feel most days. Cossie the bearded dragon (that's her-not breathing fire) has emerged from her cave again. I think she's eaten a locust, there's one left. Do I buy more or is she going to go back to sleep again? She was not at all interested in eating worms. Her communication skills require attention. Might buy her a book to study.

Friday, 6 January 2017

Initiating firing squad...

You can spend hours a day on a specific project and make real headway on it. Knowing that for various reasons, you need to be organised about certain things and can't leave anything to chance, or til later. Today was a day like that. I did really well. I spent my hours researching and organising and felt that I'd done the leg work I needed to do at a time of year when I was able to fit it in. Before work picked up, before ongoing fatigue set in. With regards to fatigue-unless you've experienced it, don't try to dismiss it as a bit of tiredness. It's just not the same thing. You wake up in the morning tired and get progressively more exhausted as the day goes on, to the point where mentally focusing on things is nigh on impossible. Then you go to bed to experience un-refreshing sleep. It's a complete blast.

So, having felt exhausted, but relieved that I'd accomplished what I set out to you can imagine how disappointed I was to have my evening disrupted by a currently ongoing situation that I have no control over. The result, however is a life changing situation. Even though I have no control over it, I am constantly being asked my opinion. Why bother? They're going to make their own decisions anyway and ignore me, so why involve me? I would usually say that I suspect certain sectors of society enjoy causing distress to other people. However I think the reality is that they simply don't care how their actions affect other people. It is not their concern. The only thing that matters is their bottom line. 

One thing I am grateful for is that when I go to bed at night I know that one of my jobs is about helping people, not stitching them up. Yes it's a business and as such I expect to make a profit at it, but I do help people. I'm glad I'm not a member of one of those sectors who have, probably unknowingly, caused me stress for the weekend.

Thursday, 5 January 2017

That didn't need to be as hard as I made it

Bearing in mind I write erotica, maybe I should have used the word "difficult" instead of "hard."

Back to my point-lets update the other dormant blog with posts from my newly created one. I can just cut and paste the content over, she thinks.

Sure, once I've figured out that there's a preview button you press before you publish a load of illegible white lettering on a white background. Not once but about 2 or 3 times. And I claim to have done all this before...

Anyway, having probably solved that issue, I've done my usual trick of forgetting the one piece of almost interesting information I was going to relay to myself when I read and re-read my posts pretending that I'm actually someone not me who is vaguely interested. Or bored.

That sense of achievement when...



...you finally finish up the last of the pumpkin and ginger soup that has been in the freezer for the past year and a bit. Still alive.


Next on the list of things to sort out are:

-Open days for universities, which universities to short list and arranging time off to attend said open days.

-Formatting a book for the purpose of being a print on demand paperback. Possibly for the one person who expressed an interest in buying one in that format who probably won't in the long run. A step forward in this process will be confidence that the words aren't all dropping off the right hand side of the right hand page.

-Working-got another business to run and I'm not sure I'm entirely ready for the four clients I've already seen today. I may have got away with that. Just as well as my attempts to turn back time and be ready have thus far failed.

-Figuring out what else I'm having for my birthday. I've got a Himalayan salt lamp and I'm not afraid to use it.

Two exciting things happened today. My box of hair colours ranging from dark pinks through to dark blues arrived. (I'm currently violet. No, not violent, violet. Although if that noise outside the window keeps up who knows.) As did, wait for it, my new Qwerty keyboard labelling machine for work. *squeeee* I now need to put sticky printed labels on...everything.

Lessons in Laziness...3


From a post on January 1, 2017


I've been reading about book promotion today. How to do it, what to do, what works. I have come to this conclusion:

There are no answers and clearly the only way forward is old fashioned bribery and hope you know thousands of people. Unfortunately I know but a few...

The trouble is I write erotica (among other things, but for now it's erotica) Not many places allow you to promote that.

So here's some advice for people wanting to write fiction-murder people rather than have sex with them-you can promote that stuff ANYWHERE!

Disclaimer for the hard of understanding-at no point am I suggesting that anyone actually goes out and murders anyone. Typing this I feel as if I should take the condescending typing stance of a fullstop Between.Every.Word.

I'll leave it there. I am required to play Walking Dead Monopoly...

Lessons in Laziness...2


From a blog post on December 31, 2016


2016. I'm really not sure what to write about you. Yes I published an e-book this year. Privately it has been very well received by a number of people, for which I am very grateful. They will probably never fully understand what their positive comments have meant to me.



There have been deaths in the family as well as in the headlines. And there have also been some outstanding academic achievements in the family.

This year feels like an exhausting roller coaster ride that has either plummeted from a great height or instantly shot a hundred feet into the air whilst producing excessive G Force.

Who else is up for some calm, steady progress? I for one would like time to catch my breath. Have a great 2017.

Lessons in Laziness...1


From a blog post on 21st December 2017


It's the run up to Christmas so I'll be brief. (Everyone who knows me would be laughing right now. I'm really not known for brevity.) I am however ahead of the game this year. Presents are bought and wrapped. It's not even Christmas Eve yet! I have baked various things. Some of them are recognisable. The family have eaten most of them, so I'll have to bake more. But on the up side-I didn't poison anyone. And no-one has turned into a zombie, although two of the household are teenagers. I'm pretty sure they're still alive-body parts have not been littering the house as they wander around it. No zombie virus in the mince pies this year. Relief.



I've got one session left tomorrow morning and then my weight loss business will be closed until the New Year.

With any luck over the next couple of weeks I'll have a chance to knock out a few more pages of the second book in the Modified series.

At the point that I win the lottery I will be able to start writing full time. That means the second Modified book will get finished and I'll be able to finish the one about the paramedic and the cop and work on those other two characters that infiltrated my brain a few months ago. So that's next week then. The lottery is on Saturday and I believe it's my turn to win. Isn't it?

Deforestation alert: I made a paperback

I'll just leave that there along with THIS which is a link to the PAPERBACK  version of my book. Oh look, there it is again. It'...